Last embrace

When desperation comes, when you feel you have lost all your dreams, it is when it has arrived the time in which a deep depression can come. It means to let go completly of the mind's plots and tricks about Life and let Life leaving you totally, in each moment, with no plan, with no ideas about anything at all.

The fact is that losing yourself will be much more painful than seeing all projects or ideas one had about the future dissolve and often this last lost is fought intensily. Even suicide looks an alternative as paradoxically we intuitivly feel that the end of this pain will come if "we" drop our anchors away. The last object in the dream of Life that must go is infact that object that is what we consider ourselve to be. The sense of existing as a person, the Iamness itself, is infact still a something where what we truly are is Nothingness itself, it is that Pure Void that sees it all. That is why when we feel we have come to be one with everything a big feeling of love arises and of emotional connection with everything and everybody. But that feeling of radiance, that is actually the expansion into everything - the BECOMING everything - has to reach the highest point that is the dissolving of the last object into that pool of love, the "I am itself". That last quantum leap, from One to Zero in a sense, happens by itself as for definition cannot occour with the help of any imaginary individual, any imaginary "me". That almost endless bliss has to melt in its highest vibration that is Silence. That all-encompassing gratefulness must expand into a kind of silent prayer for existence to be as it is, with no-one to which that gratefulness is adressed to and nothing one is grateful about.

One has to lose his dream and the last object in the dream is oneself. One gets lost and never comes back - if not as a empty ghost with no center or indipendent will - in the realization to be the Dreamer.

In this process, as this death is just the dissolution of an idea not of a real somebody, it has to be understood that whatever happens in one's apparent personal life is just set up to awake oneself to what one is. Life will bring the apparent individual up and down with illusory victories and illusory defeats with the entire impersonal aim to SEE what we truly are. The dream of Life has to fail you, even to betray you, to shake you from this hypnotic illusion to be a person. As long as one feels or thinks to be separated from Life, that sudden bends of Existence can look painful and unfair, but they are utterly necessary to unweave the dream web in which we look trapped in.

The last illusion to drop is that NO-ONE is actualy trapped as there is no-one ever. In other words, the last illusion that drops is the idea to be the subject of the dream itself, and as this last object dissolves the attention moves from this illusory subject - the me - to its real one, this eternal I.

That true subject was what out of which the dream of Life was weaved and what was in a sense directing the entire show all the time. Out of this so called global perspective nothing looks anymore unfair, but necessary, unvoidable and therefore utterly perfect.

Even before this is totallly true of oneself, the Dream is totally perfect in each moment. Knowing it or not it is the difference between hell and paradise.
Life is not fair or unfair, Life does what it does. When there is attachment to the Dream or even to a minute part of it, the capable hands of Love will be busy to let us open our arms again so we can embrace Life in its totality and dissolve in that final embrace.

Shakti